The Way of Christ's Cross with Ukrainian Brothers and Sisters

* 이 십자가의 길 기도는, 내가 종신 서원 준비를 하던 대수련 시기에 쓴 기도문을 영어로 번역한 것이다. 블로그에 올려 놓은 이후로 사순시기가 되면 조회수가 올라갔고 나로서는 사순시기이니 응당 그러려니 했었다. 게다가 블로그를 아카이브처럼 사용하는지라 평소엔 댓글을 본다던가 방명록을 잘 살피지도 않았다. 얼마 전에도 부활 시기가 지나고 며칠이 지나서야 블로그를 열었고, 열흘도 넘게 지난 방명록 글을 보게 되었다. 그리고 방명록에는 폴란드에서 선교중이며 우크라이나 국경에서 매우 가까워서 피난민들을 돕고, 구호품을 우크라이나에 보내는 일을 돕고 있는  R수녀님의 메세지가 있었다. 우크라이나 형제 자매들을 위한 십자가의 길 PPT 자료를 만드시다가 내 기도문을 보았고, 우크라이나 형제들에 맞게 몇 단어를 바꾸고 평신도들이 모두 바칠 수 있게 '수도자'란 단어를 '신앙인'으로 바꾸어 기도했다고, 고맙고 미리 말하지 못해 죄송하다는 내용이었다. 이미지든 글이든 쉽게 찾고 사용하는 사람들이 많은데 이렇게 공손하게 부탁하고 사과하는 글은 오랜만이라 놀랍기도 했고, 고맙기까지 했다. 그리고 영어권 수녀님들의 요청으로 번역도 하게 되었으니 나누고 싶다는 말씀까지... 내 기도가 다른 이들의 간절한 기도가 되었다는 것, 그것도 우크라니아를 위한 기도가 되었다는 것, 무엇보다 나의 기도가 나의 기도로만 끝나지 않는다는 걸 생각하며 괜시리 숙연해졌다. 내 기도가, 내 삶 또한 그러해야 한다는 걸 다시 생각한다. 

Jesus, today we want to meet you, who silently carry the cross while walking along the Way of the Cross, and meet the brothers and sisters who are struggling to walk with the heavy crosses which they have to endure. Let me learn how to walk with you, not for myself, but for all the people whom you love. Let us learn also that our lives are not about walking only for ourselves.

 

1. Let us meditate on Jesus being sentenced to death.

Leader: We adore Thee, O Christ, and bless Thee.
All: Because by Thy holy cross Thou hast redeemed the world

The way of the cross which you walked for our salvation started with the death sentence. We who follow you are now taking this same first step, declaring the death penalty to our hidden desires, selfishness, and self-pities. The moment we willingly respond to all the invitations of the daily martyrdoms will be the beginning of the way of the cross which we have to walk on. Jesus, let us remember that we are people who are already sentenced to die to the world and to our egos. 

2. Let us meditate on Jesus bearing the cross. 

 

Leader: We adore Thee, O Christ, and bless Thee.
All: Because by Thy holy cross Thou hast redeemed the world

You said, “Take the cross and follow me,” and it is you who takes the lead before us. I see your back with nothing but a cross. Jesus who abandoned everything to bear the cross, shows that you can truly bear the cross only when you abandon yourself so let us follow him and abandon ‘me’ in all the situations given. Just as picking out the stones from the soil before planting the seeds, help me to abandon the deep-rooted ‘my will’ to plant the cross in my body and let me bear my own cross. 

3. Let us meditate on Jesus falling down because he lost his bodily strength.

Leader: We adore Thee, O Christ, and bless Thee.
All: Because by Thy holy cross Thou hast redeemed the world

Jesus, you eventually fell down under the weight of the heavy cross. You fall for our sins, but we fall for the greed coming from our own selves. At the same time, I still don’t fully realize why I have to fall. Our sins make you fall and ourselves fall, also. But the fall is a part of the way of the cross, so no matter how severe the pain may be, let us willingly fall when you have prepared it for us. I will love you even at the moment I fall. 

4. Let us meditate on Jesus meeting his mother Blessed Virgin Mary. 

Leader: We adore Thee, O Christ, and bless Thee.
All: Because by Thy holy cross Thou hast redeemed the world

Even though you don’t say it, I can see how much comfort your mother Mary was for you when you met her along the way of the cross. We have such a little faith but we want to be a true believer like the Virgin Mary to everyone we meet. Just as the endless patience, sacrifice, and extreme love of the Virgin have been an indispensable comfort to you, let our patience, sacrifice, and extreme love be the same comfort to everyone in the world. But we are weak, Mother Mary. Even when we are too tired to call out your name, please come and meet us. 

5. Let us meditate on how Simon took the burden of the cross by helping Jesus. 

Leader: We adore Thee, O Christ, and bless Thee.
All: Because by Thy holy cross Thou hast redeemed the world

Your appearance as if you are about to collapse and the appearance of refugees who are tired and heartbroken overlap in our eyes. Jesus, please give us your cross now. Your cross belongs to all of us from the beginning, therefore taking your cross is taking up our crosses also. Please make me humble to realize that I just did what I had to do, instead of pretending to be generous as if I were giving you any great help. As the whole world remembers Simon as the one who helped Jesus, let us be remembered by the world only as ‘the Believers who help Jesus’. 

6. Let us meditate on Veronica wiping Jesus’ face with a towel. 

Leader: We adore Thee, O Christ, and bless Thee.
All: Because by Thy holy cross Thou hast redeemed the world

 

I can see your face stained with blood and sweat. I see you wiping away my tears and giving me strength to get back on my feet when I fell and collapsed on the path of my life and cried alone. I am walking on this way of the cross for the repentance of myself, my family (community) and for everyone in the world who desperately needs our prayers, but I keep missing the value of small and simple things. Lord, allow us even now the grace to wipe your blood and sweat on your face which you shed for us. 

7. Let us meditate on the second fall of Jesus, who is exhausted. 

Leader: We adore Thee, O Christ, and bless Thee.
All: Because by Thy holy cross Thou hast redeemed the world

Jesus, you fall again. You had to fall again because of our foolishness which we don’t realize even though we fell so many times. Jesus, you fell on behalf of us who turned away from you and failed to fully embrace the pain of our neighbors. Now we wish to truly fall with you here. With you, a fall cannot be a disgrace or an insult. Jesus, please be willing to grant us the fall of sacrifice, service, and patience for you and for all the people in the world. 

8. Let us meditate on Jesus’ consolation to the women of Jerusalem. 

Leader: We adore Thee, O Christ, and bless Thee.
All: Because by Thy holy cross Thou hast redeemed the world

I’m here crying even though I don’t know the meaning of the tears. Foolishly, I thought that crying while looking at your pain and crying with pity while looking at your neighbor’s pain were helping them. Lord, I cry for myself now. I cry for my sins, for my unfaithfulness. I cry while looking at my neighbor who is not loved enough due to my limitations. Be merciful to me and teach me to become a true believer by reflecting on myself and repenting my sins. 

9. Let us meditate on Jesus’ third fall.

Leader: We adore Thee, O Christ, and bless Thee.
All: Because by Thy holy cross Thou hast redeemed the world

All that you have left in you is only the strength to bear the cross. Jesus has no strength to wipe his sweat, no strength to shed the tears at injustice, no strength to moan, but only has the strength to carry the cross. However, we still have the strength to grumble at injustice, to shed tears of self-pity, to maintain bad habits, to judge, misunderstand, and even to hate others. Jesus, leave us only the strength to bear the cross. Please be my strength, so that I may rise to the end and walk with my cross even if I fall hundreds of times.

10. Let us meditate on Jesus being stripped. 

Leader: We adore Thee, O Christ, and bless Thee.
All: Because by Thy holy cross Thou hast redeemed the world

Jesus, how far is the way of the cross? Are the severe pains still far away to go? They even took off your clothes because for them, it wasn’t enough to spit and insult you. But you were strong-willed even when everything that was covering you came off. So now let us take off our clothes of pride and hypocrisy. Just as no insult could have prevented you from being ‘Jesus’, any shame we will ever experience will not separate us from you. 

11. Let us meditate on Jesus being crucified. 

Leader: We adore Thee, O Christ, and bless Thee.
All: Because by Thy holy cross Thou hast redeemed the world

 

Jesus as you are crucified, there are still desires which follow us even to the end the way of the cross as we follow you.
(Confesses in your mind for a moment) Now we will crucify our desires with you. Only then will we be able to enter the path of salvation that opens under the cross. Until the day that I realize dying with you is the true happiness, please lead me to carry the cross willingly and walk with you, Jesus. 

12. Let us meditate on Jesus’ death on the cross. 

Leader: We adore Thee, O Christ, and bless Thee.
All: Because by Thy holy cross Thou hast redeemed the world

 

Jesus, you saved the whole world by being crucified and dying on the cross. The way of the cross is thus completed by your death. But now that you have died on our behalf, this way we take is now complete with life, not death. We find the world’s most noble love in the image of you who gave everything for us and died on the cross. Lord, let us remember that we become believers who reveal the love of your cross to the world whenever we choose to die to our ego in the smallest  things of our daily lives. Every time we accept an invitation to martyrdom, another life will be born. We will be one more step closer to your kingdom. 

13. Let us meditate on the disciples removing  Jesus’ body from the cross. 

Leader: We adore Thee, O Christ, and bless Thee.
All: Because by Thy holy cross Thou hast redeemed the world

Now all the pain is over. The whipping, kicking and spitting at you have stopped. I can’t hear the swear words anymore.  
You are at peace and rest now in your beloved mother’s arms. As you, who were hung high on the cross, came down to the ground, my vanity, greed, and arrogance which endlessly soared into the sky also followed you down to the ground and were embraced in your mother’s arms. Jesus, let us, who are still hesitant to love, be believers who embrace the whole world warmly like your mother Mary. 

14. Let us meditate on Jesus being buried in his grave. 

Leader: We adore Thee, O Christ, and bless Thee.
All: Because by Thy holy cross Thou hast redeemed the world

 

All traces of pain and suffering have disappeared. The sobbings heard until the end have stopped also. To save us, you went down to the last resting place of an ordinary man born from the soil. We want to walk along with you on that path of humility. We are going downward to that last place with you. By lowering ourselves, we want to embrace the wounds of those who are groaning in pain. Lord, thank you for walking this way with us who are limited. 

Jesus, I feel much lighter. Only a person who admits to being a sinner may follow you on this way. No matter how much I was with you, I didn’t have a willingness to follow the way of the cross. I thought it would be painful and that I would die when I gave up my pride and nailed my will and possession. But I stand in front of you again with a little lighter heart. A life of prayer is a life that begins anew all the time, so we will walk this path again. You have made us realize that the way of the cross is the way of salvation, so let us become another name for love that gives everything for the world like you, Jesus.